Peter Kay and Sian Gibson spotted filming Car Share at Banny’s Chip Shop in Burnley | Image: Lancashire Telegraph

“Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before”

Peter Kay | Channel 4

“My Dad always used to say ‘fight fire with fire’.

“Probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade”

Peter as the Abzorbaloff in Doctor Who

“I saw a fat person wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ written on it. 

I said, ‘Thyroid problem?'”

Peter Kay and Karen Johnson

“A woman goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce poking out the top of her knickers. The doctor says: ‘That looks nasty’.

“‘Oh, that’s just the tip of the iceberg’ she said”

“I think Animal testing is a terrible idea. They get all nervous and give the wrong answers”.